Gracias James. Was on the fence about sharing this one but looking back, a good exercise of fully-driven introspection piece. Some people say not to share your dairy online, but best not to listen to some people;). Hope work is going alright.
I don't know many people who could make a room full of strangers fall in love with a dad they never met. Unless of course they somehow invoked everybody's father in the world with the telling.
Thanks Rick. I was hoping you'd say "fall in love with me" as I'm dying to be adored but I'll take the dad compliment;). Hope the new venture is kicking ass.
I already fell in love with you my friend, and that's clearly true for most of your readers as well. And yes, the writing community has become an extraordinary project and joy. Appreciate the support.
I love how I knew you were talking about your father without you ever uttering the word. This was a beautiful reflection. I hope you got to say some of those things to him. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you BEE. I made that change last minute as it felt like "the man" would speak to more people and get them thinking about their own version of "the man." So glad I did.
This is perhaps the most touching father-son story I have ever read. How serious illness changes a person, and the evolution of relationship that occurs as a result of that change.
"And perhaps that’s the most important lesson the man has ever taught me — great things happen when we give people the space and time to try to get things right."
Thank you, Michael, for this raw glimpse into the tender space of your love.
Hahaha. Finding a woman in Tasmania who loves my writing was my goal this year so I guess I can guess I can celebrate by eating pizza for lunch and dinner today.
And easy to relate to. My Dad was scary to me as a child, yet I grew to not fear his spewed anger and stormy moods. I was there when he crossed over.
I sobbed inconsolably on the last night of his life, telling him I wasn’t ready for his death. And I’m still not ready for it, tho it is 11 years past.
Thank you for sharing this Teyani. I've had three of these calls from my dad as well as three with my mom (who I should write more about). In a strange way, with each call it becomes easier to digest the fragility of life but I know I too will be a mess when the day does indeed come. Massive hug.
I am glad to be part of a generation that began to express their feelings more. Dad apologized to me a few days before he died, about something that went on for a couple decades.. his words of “I was wrong. I understand now.” His words healed an abyss of hurt I had felt and anger he had felt.
Saying I love you as often as possible is important. Saying what you love about someone, and things you remember that still make you smile is gold.
This piece really hit home for me. It's a beautiful reminder that family relationships are messy, complicated, and often require us to navigate a delicate balance between love, fear, and forgiveness. I can relate to the experience of feeling both awe and intimidation towards a parent figure. It's so easy to let those feelings create distance, even when we yearn for connection. The line 'He was my shield. But I'm not sure how much either of us tried to take off our armor' really resonated with me. It speaks to the unspoken dance so many of us do in families - wanting closeness, but also holding back for fear of vulnerability.
I'm so glad you picked up on this line - 'He was my shield. But I'm not sure how much either of us tried to take off our armor' Alexander. I think about that more than possibly anything else in the story. And you described the family dynamic wonderfully in your comment that so many of us go through. The space between is an odd thing.
Beautiful truth. Kids don’t understand and usually adults are pretty clueless too. Not true that you both didn’t have a choice to quit, though. Many parents and children do quit. Perhaps for both of you, your inherited nature made that unlikely. That’s the way marriage and family should be- permanent, through the good and the bad. That’s love.
“I like the idea that no matter how different we were the man and I had no choice but not to quit.
I like the idea that the best relationships take years to make.”
I’m grateful for you, and for your dad, and for your writing. ✍️
Gracias James. Was on the fence about sharing this one but looking back, a good exercise of fully-driven introspection piece. Some people say not to share your dairy online, but best not to listen to some people;). Hope work is going alright.
I don't know many people who could make a room full of strangers fall in love with a dad they never met. Unless of course they somehow invoked everybody's father in the world with the telling.
Thanks Rick. I was hoping you'd say "fall in love with me" as I'm dying to be adored but I'll take the dad compliment;). Hope the new venture is kicking ass.
I already fell in love with you my friend, and that's clearly true for most of your readers as well. And yes, the writing community has become an extraordinary project and joy. Appreciate the support.
"I like the idea that the best relationships take years to make." Beautiful. People do change and it's good to keep trying.
I love how I knew you were talking about your father without you ever uttering the word. This was a beautiful reflection. I hope you got to say some of those things to him. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you BEE. I made that change last minute as it felt like "the man" would speak to more people and get them thinking about their own version of "the man." So glad I did.
You're welcome. It made me think of my daddy. I lost him in October of 2024.
This is perhaps the most touching father-son story I have ever read. How serious illness changes a person, and the evolution of relationship that occurs as a result of that change.
"And perhaps that’s the most important lesson the man has ever taught me — great things happen when we give people the space and time to try to get things right."
Thank you, Michael, for this raw glimpse into the tender space of your love.
Gracias TeriLeigh. One of those I don't think I could ever change a word of. Thank again for the love.
one of those, like Hobbit says, you want to go back and push play on over and over again.
That word... 'man'... hurt me.
Beautiful. Gorgeous. I’m guessing my dad wanted to be like yours but didn’t know how. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you Kathy. There's still a bit of our old dynamic at play but I'll take what I can get;)
Awww this is so beautiful! Brought a tear to my eye
Glad it resonated Shlee and you liked it.
This woman loves your writing. A lot.
Hahaha. Finding a woman in Tasmania who loves my writing was my goal this year so I guess I can guess I can celebrate by eating pizza for lunch and dinner today.
Dang powerful, dear Michael.
And easy to relate to. My Dad was scary to me as a child, yet I grew to not fear his spewed anger and stormy moods. I was there when he crossed over.
I sobbed inconsolably on the last night of his life, telling him I wasn’t ready for his death. And I’m still not ready for it, tho it is 11 years past.
Thank you for sharing this Teyani. I've had three of these calls from my dad as well as three with my mom (who I should write more about). In a strange way, with each call it becomes easier to digest the fragility of life but I know I too will be a mess when the day does indeed come. Massive hug.
Massive hugs back to you.
I am glad to be part of a generation that began to express their feelings more. Dad apologized to me a few days before he died, about something that went on for a couple decades.. his words of “I was wrong. I understand now.” His words healed an abyss of hurt I had felt and anger he had felt.
Saying I love you as often as possible is important. Saying what you love about someone, and things you remember that still make you smile is gold.
Last Father’s Day I wrote a lengthy essay about him.. I’d love to know more about your dad too. https://stayingtogether.substack.com/p/dad-hero-legendary-ogre-inspirational
This piece really hit home for me. It's a beautiful reminder that family relationships are messy, complicated, and often require us to navigate a delicate balance between love, fear, and forgiveness. I can relate to the experience of feeling both awe and intimidation towards a parent figure. It's so easy to let those feelings create distance, even when we yearn for connection. The line 'He was my shield. But I'm not sure how much either of us tried to take off our armor' really resonated with me. It speaks to the unspoken dance so many of us do in families - wanting closeness, but also holding back for fear of vulnerability.
I'm so glad you picked up on this line - 'He was my shield. But I'm not sure how much either of us tried to take off our armor' Alexander. I think about that more than possibly anything else in the story. And you described the family dynamic wonderfully in your comment that so many of us go through. The space between is an odd thing.
An odd thing, indeed. This was a beautiful story. I have some challenged family dynamics so I’ve thought about it off and on the past few days.
Beautiful truth. Kids don’t understand and usually adults are pretty clueless too. Not true that you both didn’t have a choice to quit, though. Many parents and children do quit. Perhaps for both of you, your inherited nature made that unlikely. That’s the way marriage and family should be- permanent, through the good and the bad. That’s love.
Totally agree Mary. I'm very quick to dismiss and as my friend Nik once told me, "to give a trust advance" and know that life is long.
Beautifully done, Michael. It was worth the hike.
I appreciate that Jack. And yes, indeed worth the hike.
Tour de force.
Thank you Mr. Ferrers. And hope to catch you in about an hour.
Pfff this is stunning.
Gracias Lala.
The best things in life are these relationships. Such a powerful piece.