For me this is the further demonstration of the power of storytelling. Lluis will endure as a leader because of your skill with immortalizing moments of human experience that deserve to live on. Being a storyteller who notices such moments, captures them, preserves them, and passes them along is a high art and an essential service to our humanity. Thank you for continuing to serve and refine this gift you have Michael.
Sharing stories, little vignettes of every day life, is such a lovely way to connect. I agree with you Rick, Michael does have a way with words and distilling them into memorable moments.
There's something irreplaceable magical to me about sharing stories and it so captivates me that I spend a good deal of time trying to analyze what it is. But I really like how you put this. "Sharing stories, little vignettes of every day life, is such a lovely way to connect." Perhaps it's a simple as that Kellie.
Michael, thank you for centering me in my awareness, and having me realize that each moment is a “last time.”
I realized that your father-in-law had a last time physically climbing the mountain, but mentally, if we so choose, there is no last time when we choose to squeeze those drops out of our experience.
“But instead of allowing this thought to bring him down, after realizing it was the last time he’d climb up his favorite mountain, he chose to squeeze every last drop out of the experience.”
My father died of Leukemia 2 years ago, and yet some of THE most fabulous conversations and experiences I’ve had with him, have taken place since then inside my heart. I’m squeezing away. 😊
Thank you for the thoughtful response James and I'm sorry for your loss. My dad is 84 tomorrow. Since covid, he's been battling cancer and even though he's been cleared three times now after chemo and various surgeries, it keeps coming back and has been told by his doctors that he will die from it (could be a year, could be ten). In a weird way, this grueling process has helped both him and me as we've both accepted "what is" as and we've had great conversations over the last few years. I find great solace in your story and these conversations won't end.
Having kids is a whole world of "the last time", though a good bit of the first time as well.
I have a 20-year-old daughter who has sensory issues and, when she hit puberty, was no longer interested in hugs or touching really at all. I hold in my heart a precious memory of us doing a family vacation to Disney World, not long before things changed. I didn't know at the time that I was holding hands for the last time, but alas...
I'm so grateful that I have a specific, "big memory" to have attached that to. I can't remember us walking around a mall or grocery store holding hands, probably when the 'real last' happened.
Now I'm all messed up with Nostalgia. Thanks Michael.
Ah man, I felt this big time Jody. So glad you have that big memory. Lluis's experience was shortly before covid when my youngest was still in diapers and it reminded me to slow down each time I had to change them. Even still, don't remember the "last time" i did it.
Massive virtual hug and can always tell from your messages that you're a good man.
"Today, I had to say goodbye to my favorite mountain" - that was a take-my-breath-away moment...followed by another take-my-breath-away moment "A single tear ran down her left cheek."
And then, that long pause that happens when you aren't quite sure how to breathe again...followed by a deep vibrant fulfilling nourishing breath IN. "when the fog lifted he could see all the way to the sea" followed by another one "the jokes he and his buddies shared" and another one "how the light changed colors at every turn."
My first husband used to say "the only permanence is impermanence". I never liked that quote, it made my head hurt trying to think about it. And, as the marriage ended in divorce, he was very right. Everything is temporary, as you say (a much more brain-friendly way of saying it). This is a deep spiritual Truth, with a capital T, that when embraced makes all the difference in your daily experience of life.
I had a similar-but-different experience this week. My friend Deanna had a mobile groomer come to groom her cat. She didn't know that when she gave her cat to the groomer to take to the mobile van parked in her driveway, it would be the last time she saw her cat alive. The cat had a heart attack while getting his butt trimmed. A few days later, Hobbit and I took her out to dinner, and we spent the entire dinner telling JellyBean stories. A cat wake. Every one of those stories were those tiny moments we had spent with the cat where we were FULLY PRESENT with him. Sucking the marrow out of the moment.
Your story and lesson here, Michael, is the epitome of living mindfully. Part of me thought, as I read this, I could just put an auto-responder on my Mindfulness Coach publication that says "everything you need know about mindfulness EVER exists here." and link to this post. You say SO MUCH in such a short space with an astonishingly penetrating story.
I told you the other day that reading your work is like eating the finest dark chocolate truffle. I want to suck on it, feel the texture of the words on my tongue, taste the rich flavor through all parts of my mouth, and let the message absorb into my system to nourish me and become part of me. And in this one, you did just that. I can feel your message in every cell of my being.
Tell Lluis that his relationship with his favorite mountain isn't over. It's just changed. The mountain and all the memories of it are IN him. He doesn't need to access it externally anymore as he has fully absorbed it internally. He can connect with the mountain anytime because he IS the mountain. In yoga there is a saying that every pose is mountain pose. Mountain pose is the basic pose of standing at attention, ideal alignment of the spine. Every other yoga pose is about maintaining Mountain Pose alignment in the spine while moving and changing the limbs and joints around. Energetically and spiritually to have mountain pose in all poses is to know thyself, from the inside out, and express that Self no matter what. Seems to me Lluis has attained that level of mindfulness and awareness. He is blessed, as are all who know him. 💜 🗻
In the moment, it seems like some friendships will last forever. Then, you just start to grow apart. Then you find yourself 5 years later wondering what you'd say to them if you ever saw them again.
Thanks man. During the book writing I reached out to friends I hadn't spoken to in 20+ years. It was amazing. Pick up the phone. Start with Hi. I miss you.
Such a lovely story and beautiful comments you inspire Michael. Writing, and sharing others' spoken words, makes those sublime and bitter-sweet moments more long lasting and tender too. And now globally set free for us on the other side of the planet to savour.
Thank you for the stories and reminding us to keep telling ours and each other's.
Such a great point. I just had a farewell dinner with a friend I met here in Denmark and was thinking if this will be the last time I see her. Totally forgot to take a photo so need to remember to take photos!!
Living in Spain, whenever a friend visiits from the US or abroad, I think about this also.
And with you on the photos bit Ellina as I'm horrible about asking friends to capture the moment. But at the same time, mental images can be just as nice (even though I like photos for memory sparks).
We certainly don't. My parents are 84 (well my dad will be in a few hours) and I still find myself putting work ahead of calling them at times. I know that no matter how much we talk or spend time with the people we care about, we will still wish we had more time but still the "I should send emails" over calling them is crazy.
Things seem so important at the time, but they aren't really. I look back on all the work I did in the 80s and 90s for companies that don't even exist now. My family is still around but all those people I worked with aren't.
As my daughter's grown up I've often found myself asking this question. It's helping to make me more present in her company instead of just scrolling away.
One trick I've been doing is mental time travel. I heard Peter Atia talk about it on a podcast and it really resonated with me.
Imagine you're 80 years old and have traveled back to this moment, what would you tell yourself to focus on and enjoy?
This made me think about my grandparents. I didn't make enough effort/time to see them when I was an adult, and it's only once they were no longer here that this dawned upon me. The silver lining is it made me change the way I view my relationship with my parents, and I'm much more proactive in spending time with them.
Right there with you regarding the grandparents. I remember times dreading going to their houses as it was "boring." Granted they all passed away in my teens but still. I should have played more Skippo with Nana.
This resonates so deeply with me. I try to live my life this way now. I wish I had known when it was the last time my child would hold my hand or call me mommy but I didn’t…life is so bittersweet.
Hey Amy, I do now also but feel like for 40 years I was running without knowing the value or stopping. In fact, I feel that way right now as this whole book thing has led me to days where I'm trying to check boxes instead of focusing on what matters long-term.
I liked Jody's comment above about holding onto a moment where his daughter held his hand and making that the one to latch onto.
I think of "last time" moments frequently now after dabbling in Stoicism. It really does change your perspective and doesn't have to be depressing. Quite the opposite.
What poignant story! For me, the act of travel, generates a lot of "last time" even if the activity like watching sunrise over a particular mountain was only practiced for a week. This may be why travel helps form so many core memories. I can't imagine how your father-in-law felt, having climbed the mountain 100 times.
This struck chord with me today. What a beautiful and inspiring sentiment and story, Michael! Giving presence and attention and living in the moment are things with which I grapple on a daily basis, even though I know I 'should' incorporate them more into my life for the benefit of others, as well as my own. I've just put 'What if this is the last time?' into my phone as a daily reminder of what's important. In time, I hope I won't need to be reminded.
Love it Jason. I write about what i struggle with and how to be "less bad" at the things I'd like to get good at. Having that reminder in your phone is huge. My office is like a doctor's office with quotes on sticky notes on the wall - "last time" is one of them.
For me this is the further demonstration of the power of storytelling. Lluis will endure as a leader because of your skill with immortalizing moments of human experience that deserve to live on. Being a storyteller who notices such moments, captures them, preserves them, and passes them along is a high art and an essential service to our humanity. Thank you for continuing to serve and refine this gift you have Michael.
God I need a Rick in Spain to get me out of bed each day. Thank you for being a champion and being you.
Sharing stories, little vignettes of every day life, is such a lovely way to connect. I agree with you Rick, Michael does have a way with words and distilling them into memorable moments.
There's something irreplaceable magical to me about sharing stories and it so captivates me that I spend a good deal of time trying to analyze what it is. But I really like how you put this. "Sharing stories, little vignettes of every day life, is such a lovely way to connect." Perhaps it's a simple as that Kellie.
Michael, thank you for centering me in my awareness, and having me realize that each moment is a “last time.”
I realized that your father-in-law had a last time physically climbing the mountain, but mentally, if we so choose, there is no last time when we choose to squeeze those drops out of our experience.
“But instead of allowing this thought to bring him down, after realizing it was the last time he’d climb up his favorite mountain, he chose to squeeze every last drop out of the experience.”
My father died of Leukemia 2 years ago, and yet some of THE most fabulous conversations and experiences I’ve had with him, have taken place since then inside my heart. I’m squeezing away. 😊
Thank you for the thoughtful response James and I'm sorry for your loss. My dad is 84 tomorrow. Since covid, he's been battling cancer and even though he's been cleared three times now after chemo and various surgeries, it keeps coming back and has been told by his doctors that he will die from it (could be a year, could be ten). In a weird way, this grueling process has helped both him and me as we've both accepted "what is" as and we've had great conversations over the last few years. I find great solace in your story and these conversations won't end.
🥹🥹🥹
Having kids is a whole world of "the last time", though a good bit of the first time as well.
I have a 20-year-old daughter who has sensory issues and, when she hit puberty, was no longer interested in hugs or touching really at all. I hold in my heart a precious memory of us doing a family vacation to Disney World, not long before things changed. I didn't know at the time that I was holding hands for the last time, but alas...
I'm so grateful that I have a specific, "big memory" to have attached that to. I can't remember us walking around a mall or grocery store holding hands, probably when the 'real last' happened.
Now I'm all messed up with Nostalgia. Thanks Michael.
Ah man, I felt this big time Jody. So glad you have that big memory. Lluis's experience was shortly before covid when my youngest was still in diapers and it reminded me to slow down each time I had to change them. Even still, don't remember the "last time" i did it.
Massive virtual hug and can always tell from your messages that you're a good man.
"Today, I had to say goodbye to my favorite mountain" - that was a take-my-breath-away moment...followed by another take-my-breath-away moment "A single tear ran down her left cheek."
And then, that long pause that happens when you aren't quite sure how to breathe again...followed by a deep vibrant fulfilling nourishing breath IN. "when the fog lifted he could see all the way to the sea" followed by another one "the jokes he and his buddies shared" and another one "how the light changed colors at every turn."
My first husband used to say "the only permanence is impermanence". I never liked that quote, it made my head hurt trying to think about it. And, as the marriage ended in divorce, he was very right. Everything is temporary, as you say (a much more brain-friendly way of saying it). This is a deep spiritual Truth, with a capital T, that when embraced makes all the difference in your daily experience of life.
I had a similar-but-different experience this week. My friend Deanna had a mobile groomer come to groom her cat. She didn't know that when she gave her cat to the groomer to take to the mobile van parked in her driveway, it would be the last time she saw her cat alive. The cat had a heart attack while getting his butt trimmed. A few days later, Hobbit and I took her out to dinner, and we spent the entire dinner telling JellyBean stories. A cat wake. Every one of those stories were those tiny moments we had spent with the cat where we were FULLY PRESENT with him. Sucking the marrow out of the moment.
Your story and lesson here, Michael, is the epitome of living mindfully. Part of me thought, as I read this, I could just put an auto-responder on my Mindfulness Coach publication that says "everything you need know about mindfulness EVER exists here." and link to this post. You say SO MUCH in such a short space with an astonishingly penetrating story.
I told you the other day that reading your work is like eating the finest dark chocolate truffle. I want to suck on it, feel the texture of the words on my tongue, taste the rich flavor through all parts of my mouth, and let the message absorb into my system to nourish me and become part of me. And in this one, you did just that. I can feel your message in every cell of my being.
Tell Lluis that his relationship with his favorite mountain isn't over. It's just changed. The mountain and all the memories of it are IN him. He doesn't need to access it externally anymore as he has fully absorbed it internally. He can connect with the mountain anytime because he IS the mountain. In yoga there is a saying that every pose is mountain pose. Mountain pose is the basic pose of standing at attention, ideal alignment of the spine. Every other yoga pose is about maintaining Mountain Pose alignment in the spine while moving and changing the limbs and joints around. Energetically and spiritually to have mountain pose in all poses is to know thyself, from the inside out, and express that Self no matter what. Seems to me Lluis has attained that level of mindfulness and awareness. He is blessed, as are all who know him. 💜 🗻
Oh man, that JellyBean story is heartbreaking. So glad your friend has friends like you and hobbit.
Dark chocolate comment is my favorite;). Really appreciate that. "Make things that make people stop" ;).
And really appreciate the "everything you need to know about mindfulness...."
One of the pieces I wrote for me first as I write about what I struggle with.
Love your comments Teri - best in the business.
I always think about this with old friends.
In the moment, it seems like some friendships will last forever. Then, you just start to grow apart. Then you find yourself 5 years later wondering what you'd say to them if you ever saw them again.
Love it, dude.
Thanks man. During the book writing I reached out to friends I hadn't spoken to in 20+ years. It was amazing. Pick up the phone. Start with Hi. I miss you.
This teaches how powerful attention and mindset are.
If you value each second of your life, life turns into a beautiful book and never a burden.
Such a lovely story and beautiful comments you inspire Michael. Writing, and sharing others' spoken words, makes those sublime and bitter-sweet moments more long lasting and tender too. And now globally set free for us on the other side of the planet to savour.
Thank you for the stories and reminding us to keep telling ours and each other's.
Really appreciate this thoughtful response Jeanette. Was very nice to see the replies on this one.
Such a great point. I just had a farewell dinner with a friend I met here in Denmark and was thinking if this will be the last time I see her. Totally forgot to take a photo so need to remember to take photos!!
Living in Spain, whenever a friend visiits from the US or abroad, I think about this also.
And with you on the photos bit Ellina as I'm horrible about asking friends to capture the moment. But at the same time, mental images can be just as nice (even though I like photos for memory sparks).
Nice method of staying present. We don't value what we have until we lose it, do we?
We certainly don't. My parents are 84 (well my dad will be in a few hours) and I still find myself putting work ahead of calling them at times. I know that no matter how much we talk or spend time with the people we care about, we will still wish we had more time but still the "I should send emails" over calling them is crazy.
Things seem so important at the time, but they aren't really. I look back on all the work I did in the 80s and 90s for companies that don't even exist now. My family is still around but all those people I worked with aren't.
Great piece.
As my daughter's grown up I've often found myself asking this question. It's helping to make me more present in her company instead of just scrolling away.
One trick I've been doing is mental time travel. I heard Peter Atia talk about it on a podcast and it really resonated with me.
Imagine you're 80 years old and have traveled back to this moment, what would you tell yourself to focus on and enjoy?
Really made me a lot more present.
Such a great thought and thanks for passing it along Shoaib. Really appreciate you taking the time.
This made me think about my grandparents. I didn't make enough effort/time to see them when I was an adult, and it's only once they were no longer here that this dawned upon me. The silver lining is it made me change the way I view my relationship with my parents, and I'm much more proactive in spending time with them.
Right there with you regarding the grandparents. I remember times dreading going to their houses as it was "boring." Granted they all passed away in my teens but still. I should have played more Skippo with Nana.
God how do you do this? I mean everytime I read an article I'm in hopeful tears.
Thank you Lala. That's the goal.
This resonates so deeply with me. I try to live my life this way now. I wish I had known when it was the last time my child would hold my hand or call me mommy but I didn’t…life is so bittersweet.
Hey Amy, I do now also but feel like for 40 years I was running without knowing the value or stopping. In fact, I feel that way right now as this whole book thing has led me to days where I'm trying to check boxes instead of focusing on what matters long-term.
I liked Jody's comment above about holding onto a moment where his daughter held his hand and making that the one to latch onto.
Great piece, Michael! This is very STOIC!
I think of "last time" moments frequently now after dabbling in Stoicism. It really does change your perspective and doesn't have to be depressing. Quite the opposite.
Gratitude flows freely with this mindset.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
It sure does. This moment is all we have is a reminder I think of often.
What poignant story! For me, the act of travel, generates a lot of "last time" even if the activity like watching sunrise over a particular mountain was only practiced for a week. This may be why travel helps form so many core memories. I can't imagine how your father-in-law felt, having climbed the mountain 100 times.
Right there with you Sutee. Travel brings me into the present big time. Trying to work on the same at home.
This struck chord with me today. What a beautiful and inspiring sentiment and story, Michael! Giving presence and attention and living in the moment are things with which I grapple on a daily basis, even though I know I 'should' incorporate them more into my life for the benefit of others, as well as my own. I've just put 'What if this is the last time?' into my phone as a daily reminder of what's important. In time, I hope I won't need to be reminded.
Love it Jason. I write about what i struggle with and how to be "less bad" at the things I'd like to get good at. Having that reminder in your phone is huge. My office is like a doctor's office with quotes on sticky notes on the wall - "last time" is one of them.